But who’s counting?

Hopefully, not me if we are talking money.

I just finished a term as treasurer for my AA group.  In trying to make sure my successor didn’t run shrieking from the room when I handed over my job, I counted the cash that we had accumulated from recent meetings so she could start with a fresh slate.  The usual amount that folks put in the basket at meetings is $1, sometimes $2.  Sometimes a generous soul will put in a five.  Rarely is there anything larger than a ten unless I’ve needed change and then there’s a $20 in the stack.  The cash accrued from a few months of meetings is usually several hundred dollars, mostly in ones.

Did I say I counted the cash?  The truth is that Bob counted the cash with me because he ended up counting the cash FOR me.  Years of tallying money paid when he was a kid with a newspaper route makes him really efficient and accurate at totalling large stacks of cash.  I have a tendency to talk and count which isn’t a good combo if you want correct totals.   (One, two, three…Bob!  Did I tell you that I have 6 bids next week?…seven, eight, nine, ten…There’s a birthday party for Michelle on the 16th…seventeen, eighteen…)  Bob ended up telling me to just record on the computer while he counted.  It was faster that way since he was having to recount my bill stacks. 

That’s a difference between Bob and me.  I am a good estimator; Bob’s into accuracy.  I noticed that when I asked him to help me with remodelling at my house.  I’m replacing the windows in my house and asked him to hold the dummy end of the tape.  “You know you have to measure in three places width-wise and three places length-wise, right?” (Why?  My windows are all 32″ x 60″ except in the kitchen and bath.  I’m not even sure I NEED to measure the windows.) “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but your house is old.”  (What feelings could you hurt?  You  are calling the house old, not me.  My house was built in…oh yeah.  My house is 2 years younger than me.  Darn.  I am old.)  “The house has shifted and settled over the years.  (Not unlike its owner.)  “There will be slight differences from what they were years ago.  You have to have an accurate measure.”  (Oh.  Got it.)

I ended up making a super chart so somebody else can measure the windows.  That’s what I’m can do.  I’m not the Spreadsheet Queen-I used to work for a woman who was-but I’m pretty darn good.   

Being good at an ordinary task isn’t the same as being talented.  I am part of a very talented family.  I have a daughter in law who could crochet a small building if she had enough yarn, a sister who can read Chopin like it’s a 3rd grade chapter book, another who can act with such authenticity that I have to do a double take to make sure it’s her on stage.  Those are just 3; I would sound like I was bragging if I ran the full talented family gamut.

Most people can count better than me; Bob counts better than most people.  He’s good at it.  If we got decimated by an alien invasion or a zombie apocalypse, Bob would be able to earn his place in Survival World, but it would probably be something other than counting.  I don’t think currency enumerating would be much-needed.  I think it would be his ability to distinguish between a bear and a tree stump which is another thing he does that I don’t do.  Lucky for errant tree stumps that I don’t carry the rifle when we go hunting.

Lioness watching for Margaret Zebra

What would prevent me from being cut from the Survival World herd?  Most of my skills require electricity or at the least a battery.  I am a good map reader, but an eradicated landscape doesn’t need maps to navigate.  I can cook, but I’m not the best or most efficient cook.  I’m a terrible runner, but I’m a great walker.   Not a fast walker so that might be so great.  I’d probably have the same fate as those old zebras in the Animal Planet Africa-logues.  That’s not a good starring role. 

My fat keeps me afloat in just a few inches of water.  I could serve as a flotation device if we were crossing a river or trying to escape the zombies by jumping into the bay, but then I might end up enundated. Think about capsizing lifeboats in the Titanic with all those  non-swimmers piling on the sides.  I better keep that particular skill quiet.

About texasgaga

I am a mom, a grandmom (Gaga to my 2nd oldest grand-child), a sister, a friend, a construction estimator, a homeowner, an active member of a 12 step recovery group, an artist, a reader, a survivor, a do it yourself wannabe, a laugher
This entry was posted in Hmmmm, Humor, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to But who’s counting?

  1. texasgaga says:

    you are a great cook and asst.hunter.for that and so much more i love you margaret!

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