Companion on the journey

Bob and I celebrated our 4th year of marriage on the 12/21/2017. For a woman whose marriages can be measured in cat years, that’s equal to 20 years of  marriage. And I still like him.  Better yet, he still likes me.

I am not sure why the marriage commitment has eluded me.  Perhaps, my life as an alcoholic woman for whom commitments and morals were better written in the water than on paper made it more difficult than it should have been.  In sobriety, I’ve learned the value of faithfulness and honesty.  Those are all handy values to have in a marriage.  Patience, kindness, and tolerance are great values, too, but I am still practicing them.  Literally.  Haven’t been able to stick a landing more than a few times a day.

It helps that Bob loves more unconditionally than any creature I’ve known.  He gets mad at me, we argue, we have gone to bed angry.  Inevitably, in the dark of the night, I feel his hand squeeze my hand.  Yeah.  We still like one another and we’ll live to argue another day.

We did a grand tour over T’giving week, joining GE and her family extended with Jonathan’s mom and step-dad on a trip to Disney World.  Bob’s not traveled along the Gulf coast so we decided to drive. The trip was typical of Travels with Bob.  We did our 20 hour trip over 2-1/2 days, both coming and going, eating good food and finding out-of-the-way places to explore.

In Louisiana, we visited alligator farms and an Arcadian museum to check out my genealogy.  In Mississippi and Alabama, we tramped through old cemeteries, Civil War battlefields, and  the USS Alabama.  In Florida, beside time with the Mouse, we visited the Pensacola Naval Museum, Atlantic and Gulf beaches.

Bob’s never in too much of a hurry to stop and smell the roses. It can drive destination minded me nuts.  Bob would make a good coach.  We’ll stop here and then head on.  You don’t want to miss this.  Come on.  I have never yet regretted setting the time-table aside and saying yes to the stop.

You know those bumper stickers that say: “I brake at garage sales” or “This vehicle stops at RR X-ings?” We need one that warns drivers that we stop at historical markers, every single one, as well as cemeteries, interesting looking trees, old houses and churches.

We picked hotels using when we got too tired to drive, falling into bed and rolling out early in the AM.  One of my favorite days was the day that Bob and I broke off from the group and went to visit his aunt.  “Let’s see the sun rise over the Atlantic before we go see Aunt Kay.” Off to Cocoa Beach and a brilliant sunrise we went.

Atlantic beach shell with some of our heart rocks and JD Dragon

Bob knows how much I love rocks and shells. I fell in love with him because he caught a sand dollar with his toes while we were wading in the Gulf of Mexico.   A local jogging down Cocoa Beach spotted us as non-local yokels and gave us a shell she had collected on her run.  Her gift joins some of our finds as a special memory of our trip.

I am not sure how many more miles I will journey on this earth.  I have been blessed to have Bob for this part of my journey.  Would I have picked him out of a catalog?  Nope.  I’d have thought he was too young, too conservative, too Baptist, not Texan.  Lucky for me,  Bob didn’t know my specifications.  And God just smiled and gave me Bob.

Sometimes, reaching out and taking someone’s hand is the beginning of a journey. At other times, it is allowing another to take yours. Vera Nazarian



About texasgaga

I am a mom, a grandmom (Gaga to my 2nd oldest grand-child), a sister, a friend, a construction estimator, a homeowner, an active member of a 12 step recovery group, an artist, a reader, a survivor, a do it yourself wannabe, a laugher
This entry was posted in Life after 60, Marriage, Sober Life, Vacation. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s