My first boss got a pilot’s license and bought a little single engine plane in which we flew to every bid opening and prospective construction site that was more than 30 miles from the office. It was scary fun, and although he was reckless in driving and relationships, he was a careful pilot.
It was disconcerting when we flew out of the local international airport because he’d warn me to look out for other planes. Why? I asked. If we don’t see them, we can’t get out of their way if they don’t see us. It’s the planes you don’t see that can hurt you.
In my life, I’ve had plenty of planes that I didn’t see coming and the collisions were painful. Bob’s cancer times 2, marriages ended, my son’s death.
Today is the 15th anniversary of JD’s death. Every sharp word I ever directed at him in anger or fear finds its way to the surface of my consciousness like a festering thorn.
I stopped believing in a Santa Claus God when I’d been sober for a few years. Years ago, “God, get me a better job” was my prayer. Today it is “God, help us get through this day.” Years in AA have taught me that one day at a time works for many things. Jack’s death taught me one minute at a time works for others.
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